I hate the what if's in life. But nonetheless they still creep in from time to time. I know that God is bigger than any problem or circumstance that we face in life, but my humanity can only see so far down the road. I guess that in situations like this, it's faith that has to overcome all the "what if's". Some common ones that have come up in my life have been: "What if I never fall in love again & if I do, will I get hurt again?", or "What if I never get the job that I want?", which is usually followed up by a numerous amount of questions about finances, and bills, and my monstrous student loans that are waiting to be paid. Almost all of these questions are rooted in the fear of the unknown.
Even though I've been following the Lord for quite some time now, and no longer consider myself to be a "baby Christian", I still have worries and fears that tend overtake me from time to time. I have to be honest with you, that I am a very tenderhearted person. It really doesn't take much for me to tear up and wear my emotions on my sleeve. Some people aren't able to understand why others can become emotional and they shrug it off as a weakness. But over the years I've learned to embrace this feature and how God has instilled it in me. This ability to be real doesn't come without it's costs though. I look at it as a way that the Lord has given me to release the stress and worry that I've allowed to well up in me.... sometimes for way too long. I think that's the struggle that we as men have. We are taught to be strong and never show our weaknesses. We often are taught that tears are a sign of femininity, and therefore should be something that we as men aren't supposed to do or show to others.
I, on the other hand, have realized tears, as one person told me a while ago "Tears are a gift from God to wash our eyes so that we can see His world anew." So yes, as you might be able to tell from this post, I've been having some tearful and fearful moments as of late. Details of which I don't choose to go into at this time, but thankfully my Lord, my Comforter, my Prince of peace, is there to continually give me hope for the next day and strength to get through whatever "what if's" might come my way.
